


the avalanche of our hearts

by JyaneXx



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M, Making Out, One Shot, VERY slight!, mmm what to tag, slight suggestions of cheating, some feelings of hurt on both sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4340312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JyaneXx/pseuds/JyaneXx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A verbal interpretation of one of the most classic (and hottest) scenes in Queer as Folk. Season 2 Episode 19. I'll update the link of the video if I can find it on Youtube!</p><p>The first half is Brian-POV, the second half Justin-POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the avalanche of our hearts

**Author's Note:**

> HIIII everyone!
> 
> First of all, thank you so much for deciding to read this! I'm super nervous since this is my very first time posting my work on any public sites, as you can see from my poor tagging ability. Any comments, good or bad, are much welcomed! Queer as Folk is a very important TV show to me, and it would be amazing to see more QAF-inspired fan fictions here! 
> 
> Finally, a BIG shout out to Helena C.--my partner in crime & mental support for posting this, also in fact the very person who introduced this beautiful show to me. Thank you and love you! xx

 

        _Again_.

        Just like yesterday, and the day before that, Justin comes home straight to the shower without giving him more than a close-lipped kiss. The sex afterwards was great as per usual, but something feels off. Justin is holding back. He doesn’t scream at the top of his lungs anymore when he comes all over himself, but instead makes these low, panting moans and bites his lips too often.

        So far, he has only managed to pry a slight bit of information out of him. It was some time last week. Justin had just gotten home and headed straight to the stereo set. He remembered walking up to him and putting his arms around his waist and landing gentle pecks on the side of his neck. He also clearly recalled him shying away from his kiss, almost too focused on inserting the CD to notice his presence. The last time someone turned down a kiss from him, he was a fifth grader trying to snog with a male classmate with cute freckles. He ended up in the principal’s office with the poor, traumatized kid sobbing next to him. And that probably concluded the entire content of his rejection list. Until now.

        _Justin Taylor_. His biggest admirer and most devoted fan. Also the first creature on earth to consciously deny his affection—while being completely distracted by someone else? He glanced down at the CD case placed on the speaker, and there he was, the one and only arch nemesis he will ever have, someone by the name of Ethan. On the picture, the shabby-looking guy in a shopworn turtleneck sweater the color of vomit was clutching the thin—the thickness of his cock, probably—neck of a violin. Underneath his lower lip was a tiny patch of hair that deserved the Guiness Record of World’s Stupidest and Sissiest Beard.

        “Who’s this?” He had asked, unable to hide the slight annoyance in his voice.

        “What?… Oh—” Justin’s eyes traced his gaze and landed on the CD cover. He seemed to freeze for a moment, his entire body tensing up. And then he cleared his throat, a bit more loudly than needed, and said, “—that’s Ethan. A very talented violinist I met today…at lunch.”

        “Just a friend.” He quickly added.

        And now, for three days in a row, the subtle apathy with which Justin replies to his affection is driving him over the edge. A weird sensation is bubbling up inside him, and suddenly it’s _everywhere_ : his chest, his cock, his head, and his fingertips. It’s white-hot and boiling and destructive and… unprecedented—something he’s never had the privilege to experience before—something he would later know as _jealousy_.

        But there aren’t a lot of words that would suffice this moment or ease the gnawing feeling in his stomach, so he just grabs Justin by the neck, and _smashes_ their lips together.

 

\-------------------

 

        Meteorites are crashing and burning. First on the lips, then it’s everywhere else on his body. Everything gets tangled up in a blur, as if a violent snowstorm just descended right upon them. He is gone. Helpless. All he sees is red like swollen lips and black like a pair of mad, dilated pupils. He feels his hair being gripped and pulled, so hard that it actually hurts but then Brian is angling his head to take the kiss even deeper, more passionate than he possibly knows. So he lets himself go.

        The relentless invasion of his mouth is making him so hard. He would be surprised if he still remembers his own name by tomorrow morning. But at the same time, he is more than frightened. The way he grabs the back of his neck is way too forceful. Just a bit harder and he would be choking him. His strong arms constrain his body so easily, pressing their limbs together so tight that there is no room for him to squirm. Is he going to crush his bones?

        Well, he deserves it. Certainly after what he’s done.

        He is putting him on the floor now, pinning him down with his chest. And he is so close to begging. He is not sure if Brian noticed. Maybe he got lucky and got away with it. But none of it matters anymore. Because he is not going anywhere. How could he used to think he would survive a day without feeling his touch?

        But then Brian is breaking all the contact and pulling away. His body hovers above his, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, both chests heaving due to the lack of air between their mouths.

        “Why did you stop?” Panting heavily, he managed to form words with his burning lips.

        Not close enough. Not close enough. Not close enough. Every cell in his body is screaming for Brian now, wanting the distance between them to be zero, or preferably negative infinity again. Maybe Brian is planning on killing him. But _fuck_. He would like to have a toast to God if this is how he goes.

        Then he meets his stare and he just _flinches_. The knowing in his eyes makes his entire body ache with guilt. Of course he figured. How could a predator like Brian miss the scent of someone else, especially after scrutinizing his mouth like that? Something is ripping in his chest, but he is too scared to look away, afraid he will tear him apart the second he breaks the eye contact. All the pigments on his color palette can’t even create a color like Brian’s eyes right now--so deadly that every bit of his blood is dropping straight to the freezing point--so cold that he feels filthy and worthless like never before.

        “B-Brian?” His voice shivers uncontrollably.

        He slowly pulls away, increasing the distance between their bodies. His smell is still prominent and tastable on his wet lips, but God, the way he’s staring at him makes him want to cry and apologize and scream things like I’M SORRY I CHEATED BUT IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR LETTING ME GO AND YOU’RE AN IDIOT FOR THINKING I WOULD _EVER_ BE ABLE TO LOVE ANYONE ELSE AFTER I’VE LOVED YOU. But he is paralyzed on the wooden floor, stripped of the ability to speak or think.

        Suddenly, Brian is so close again. His nose tip almost brushing against his lips, making his breath hitch in his throat. “Go take a shower.” A voice whispers next to his ear, so light yet it cuts him right open. “You _stink_.”

        He doesn’t quite know how long he spends lying on the floor, just letting rushes of hurt and humiliation take over. Somewhere in between, he drifts off into a state of dreamy oblivion, where he and Brian kiss and make out and kiss some more, except there is no hurt or humiliation this time, and it goes on for ever and ever and ever.

        What a daydream.

        Or a nightmare. Could be either. He can’t be sure.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Can't say how much it means to me :) xx  
> On the last note, if the writing feels a bit vague, go watch S2E19 and see for yourself!


End file.
